You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
