her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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