There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
