Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
