I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
