I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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