I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
bring money and cleavage
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Shame - the story of my life.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
