i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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