I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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