Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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