Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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