Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
