She's JV to your varsity
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
