Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
