i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
