I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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