i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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