I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
