who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
