I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
