did you get engaged???
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
