After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the day after is always just damage control
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
