his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
