I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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