Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
