What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My feet surprised me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
