If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
