My room smells like vodka and shame
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
