i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
whose parrot is this?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
