Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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