I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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