Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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