i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i've created a new STD.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
