I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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