Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dick very happy bro
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
