Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
