Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
