The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
