You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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