Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
we're so committed to being not committed
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