you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
