12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
