Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
