you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
