If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
