Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
