If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
