There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
