And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
this just has baby written all over it
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's blow job season.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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