So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
