I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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